Let's talk puberty.... Part 1

 Oye! This one's a doozy, am I right? 

That's why we are going to break it into a two-parter. 😁

As if it's not hard enough to handle puberty and all that it entails with your neuro-typical child let us  now try to delve into it with our child who has delays, anxiety, and sensory issues. 

Where do we begin?

First, you must start where they are. 

What do I mean by that?

Well, your childs body is growing and changing according to age but maybe developmentally, your child is not there yet. 

Remember, every child, every situation is different but this is what has worked for us.

We begin by reading age appropriate books about our bodies. How they change as we grow, accurate labeling of body parts, etc. We discuss and openly talk as questions come up. When inappropriate behaviors or talk happens we gently correct and explain how amazing our bodies are and how we are to take good care of them. 

We want there to be open communication so our child feels safe to discuss anything with us at anytime. Especially with their level of vulnerability we are always thinking of how to best protect them from abuse of any kind. If something has or is happening we want them to have the words to tell us and to know that we are a safe space for them. 

We try to teach and remind often about private parts being private (no one touches or sees besides parents or doctors), respect for self and others (don't make fun of others and/or yourself), how to treat the opposite sex(by example!), and to give plenty of love and attention at home.

When you feel they are ready, have the big talk....you know...the birds and the bees. 

I know, I know....so awkward.

The first time we had this talk we just barely skimmed the surface because that was all they could handle at that time. Then about a year later, when we were noticing they weren't clear on some of the issues, we had another discussion a bit more in depth than the first time. Then about 8 months after that discussion it became clear to me that it was time and they were ready for all the details that we had skimmed over before. As I talked, I watched their face to see if they were understanding, if they were uncomfortable, if I had been wrong on timing.  It reaffirmed to me that they were developmentally ready. 

I want my children to understand these things to make them more aware and hopefully less vulnerable as they grow into adulthood. We feel knowledge is power and work to give them the tools they need to be successful in every area. 

Here are some books ideas for this subject:

 What's Happening to Ellie?

What's Happening to Tom?

Where Do Babies Come From?

Welcome, Baby!: A Gentle Conversation

I hope this has been helpful. I'd love to hear from you....questions, what's worked for your family, book suggestions, anything that could benefit others.

Thanks for being here!

Lisa 💕